Ahh, the humble housemate. Most of us have had one and if you haven’t, you’ve missed out. At no other point in your life will you learn friendship, patience and beer pong skills like at a share house. Apart from extreme situations involving psychotic assholes stealing your bond money, most housemates are at worst seriously annoying, and at best, the greatest people you’ll ever meet.
To find out if you’re a great housemate or the worst kind, keep reading…
THINGS HOUSEMATES DO THAT ARE REALLY, REALLY ANNOYING.
When they start allowing bae to sleep over all the time. And the bae in question is super annoying. Oh I’m sorry do they pay rent? Well then they can f*ck right off. You didn’t sign up for an extra housemate and anything more than 3-nights per week calls for a rent reduction.
You cook dinner, put the leftovers in the fridge for you lunch tomorrow and someone sneaks them in the middle of the night, gobbling them all up.
Your housemate is cuddling bae on the couch and you were trying to watch Younger without listening to them murmur sweet nothings at each other.
Hearing ANY sex noises.
When you’re not a morning person and their alarm wakes you up but not them… for 3 goddamn minutes while you lie there with your pillow over your head.
They leave a passive-aggressive note on the fridge instead of talking to you like an actual adult.
They lose their job and as a friend you feel for them, but as a housemate who shares the rent and bills you’re like…
When you KNOW they’ve gone in your room without your permission.
When it’s 8am on a Sunday and they decide to listen to music/vacuum/have a loud chat to mum.
When no one except you buys essentials like toilet paper, toothpaste, and cleaning supplies.
When you live with boys and they forget to clean up the sink after they shave and it looks like a scene from The Grudge in there.
When it’s 4am and you’re woken up by your housemate breaking in because they’ve lost their key (and it’s in their hand). Then they want to engage you in conversation and spill chips everywhere as they continuously miss their mouth.
When they crack the shits at you for doing something they do them ALL THE DAMN TIME.
But above all, you know that you’ve always got someone to have Indian feasts with and movie hangs.
And having housemates means you may possibly make some of the best pals of your life.
Words by Kelly McCarren.