Epic Fashion Fails

Soz Miranda, but I’m using your pic as it honestly stands out to me as one of the worst fashion fails I’ve seen. But most fashion fails are a lot less conspicuous than this atrocity.

I’m going to start with shoes because that’s what pops into my mind when I think of examples of what ‘NOT to wear’.

CROCS

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The fact that these are still being made absolutely baffles me. They are quite possibly the ugliest thing ever created. Even more so than Trump’s face. And that’s saying something.

UGGS

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Besides being produced in an unethical manner; Uggs are filthy and no one should ever wear their big, stanky slippers in public.

KITTEN HEELS

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Unattractive, uncomfortable and just plain ugly. Flats or heels, make your choice.

THONGS

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This could happen.

Or ‘flip flops’. Obviously these are the perfect shoe choice when you’re going to the beach but they’re not actual shoes so please don’t wear them as a ‘stylish’ addition to a well thought out outfit.

VELVET TRACKSUIT

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Paris Hilton called and she wants her trackie back. Leave it in The Simple Life where it belongs. Or on a ‘cool mum’.

BUCKET HATS

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No matter how hard you try, the only person a bucket hats looks cute on is a cherubic 5yo. Even poor Rhi Rhi looks like Nanny just popped her hat on her head for ‘sun protection’.

STUDDED BELTS

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Even in 2002, the only people who wore these were the emo kids. Why you can still buy them is beyond me.

CARGO PANTS

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Unless you’re about to teach a hip hop class, throw these in the trash ASAP.

JOGGERS WITH JEANS

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The only reason Steve Jobs pulled it off was because the dude made our phones and was a billionaire and basically didn’t have to GAF.

EXPOSED BRAS

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Underwear as outerwear is incredibly chic but not in this case. When your bra being exposed is ‘accidental’, it’s generally never a good look. If you want to wear a bra with something backless, opt for something you WANT to show off.

TIGHTS AS PANTS

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You know, the cheap see-through ones you get from K-MART. Generally worn to get a coffee and paired with thongs and an old tee. Gals if you want to wear activewear in public, at least choose these.

SKINNY SCARVES

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Wot is dis. 

Seriously they add no warmth and certainly don’t look good so you have zero reasons to wear one.

 

 

Guys obviously I am (half) joking as I write this. I may work in fashion but I’m also currently sitting in an off-shoulder maxi, wearing it as a strapless dress given the ‘arm holes aren’t comfy’. So you know, if you like pairing kitten heels with tights as pants, you do you!

 

Words by Kelly McCarren. 

 

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