10 Things Every Mum Did

That looking back on, confuse you greatly…

Telling you that she’d “wash your mouth out with soap” if you swore.

But why mum? Yuck.

Turning down the music to park or see a road sign.



Because #logic. 


Putting plastic bags in another plastic bag and storing so many she had enough for a lifetime of non-environmentally friendly grocery shopping.

But why mum? 

Telling you to clean your room because ‘the cleaner is coming’.

Eh? Ma, that makes zero sense. 

Calling you for dinner and it’s not even close to being ready.

The actual fuq mum. 

Swimming around while trying to keep her hair dry.

Why do mums do this? It’s part of the fun. 

Putting shells in a vase and thinking she was interior #goals. 

That she bought in bulk at the $2 store or illegally swiped from the reef on your last family vaycay. 

Telling you “there’s fruit in the bowl” when you tell her you’re hungry.

I want some biscuits for christ’s sake mum. 

Letting you know you got mail today.

Gee, I’m glad my suitors can send DP’s via text. 

Leaving one of these bad boys on the counter as a warning.


T’was a weapon of ass destruction. 




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